*Jake Peralta voice* ”You know what would be a sick prank what if I bought Capt. Holt a Father’s Day card that would be hilarious right ha ha ha. And then what if I just never told him it was a prank and he took me out to a baseball game and taught me how to ride a bike oh man that would get him so good Santiago help me pick out a card”


Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday. But it’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your co-workers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. Plus, it’s always fun to see Tom faint.

When you’re scared and alone, just know that I’m already home.

"Okay, so you’re probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl."